PERFECT

Call me crazy, but whenever I hear this song I am on the verge of tears. It’s called “Perfect” by Pink. There’s a clean version (and a not so clean version which I’ve never heard. I’ll stick with the clean one.) I think it hits me close to home being a woman and remembering my teenage years being so difficult. Remembering what it was like to be so self conscious about my body, or how I dressed, making sure my hair was perfect. The pressure is suffocating. Then I look at my 2 little girls and feel for them… because I know they will feel those same pressures one day. It gets me so choked up just thinking about it. I want their preteen and teenage years to go so much more smoothly then mine did. I want them to know how BEAUTIFUL they are to me and their Heavenly Father. I want to take away all of the pain that they will one day feel because of the pressures of this world and society on them. But mostly I just want them to know that they are absolutely PERFECT in my eyes.

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, missunderstood
Miss, no way it’s all good
It didn’t slow me down
Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I’m still around…

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than
less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing
You are perfect to me

You’re so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
Instead
So complicated
Look how big you’ll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough
I’ve done all i can think of
Chased down all my demons
see you do the same

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than
less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing
You are perfect to me

~Pink

Love Mom

ODE TO CHRISTIAN

This is my husband…

THE END.

MAKOA “fearless”… WHO KNEW WE COULD PREDICT THE FUTURE.

Things are going as according to plan. Which is a HUGE accomplishment in itself. My mom is currently listing our house as we speak. It’ll be interesting to see if we have any takers. I know lots of people are listing right now, but I haven’t quite heard if there have been people out there BUYING which is kind of the most important part.

Christian received an email that we got into Student Housing at Chapel Hill. We were going to be living a little farther from the playground then I preferred. I had talked to a friend of mine (Matt Gertsch) about living arrangements there since he and his wife (and 3 boys) currently live there also. He suggested I call and see if I could get the same size apartment but closer to the “circle” which is basically a cul-de-sac. So I called on Saturday and the manager wasn’t there. Then I called again on Monday. At first Christian thought I was “messing with our blessings”. But it wasn’t that I was feeling ungrateful, I just thought it was worth a shot. And if you know Landen… it is definitely worth it to be closer to a playground. Anyways, I called back on Monday and I spoke to Mike. He was SUPER nice and accommodating and he had one more apartment that was closer and it was still the same size as the first. I was EXTATIC and so thankful to him. So the move-in date has changed a little but it works out perfectly because now I don’t have to try another OB/GYN in Chapel Hill. We can still deliver in Raleigh but then it’s bam bam bam. Baby, move in, class. It’ll be a hectic month but I’m sure we’ll be fine.

As if life isn’t crazy enough, Landen has been giving me a “run for my money” so to speak. This kid has more energy than I’ve ever seen. Even people who have boys tell me Landen has a lot of energy. He hasn’t been sleeping well at night so I’ve decided to cut down his nap schedule. He naps only once or twice a week, and they are short. Which doesn’t help my exhaustion, but I’d rather him sleep through the night… in his own bed… than keep his naps.

Don’t get me wrong. I love this kid. Like… love with all my heart and adore him. But he is A LOT. A lot of what you may ask? A lot of EVERYTHING. This kid is like a bullet and just takes of from morning to night. This picture describes him to a T. He is ALL boy. Can be aggressive and rough. But is really sweet natured at heart. When we found out we were pregnant with another girl I really thought I’d want a boy. But now… I think I’m A OK with having a girl. One boy is enough for now.

We went to Collin’s Eagle Scout Court of Honor last Saturday. Landen started off looking cute. Button up plaid shirt, khaki shorts, and his blue sandals. Well, by the end of the evening he had dumped juice all down his shirt so off it came. Thus the wife beater. Then he decided to drink until he exploded and peed out of his shorts. Off the shorts came.

By the end of the evening this is what he was wearing… He looked like a homeless child.

Last night we were feeding the missionaries. Christian had the idea to make Tilapia. It’s a great recipe and super easy for the 2 of us (the kids won’t eat it) but when you’re making enough for 2 adults, one pregnant, and two 19 year old missionaries, it doesn’t help that you have to make four sides with the dish. So I searched high and low for my potato peeler. Nowhere to be found. I dumped drawers, dishwasher, everywhere. GONE. So I had to boil the potatoes and then peel them after they were cooked which burned my fingers. Then I hear a CRASH… Landen decided to pull and knock down a vase my parents were letting us borrow for showing the house and such. Great! I was so upset with him. Not to mention, Kalea decided to skimp on her homework and get away with it. Ugh! I was about to lose it. Seriously lose it. Apparently Christian had warned the missionaries I was going to be a grump when they got there. So Christian picks a fight just to prove his point. I was very impressed with myself for holding it in. Next time I’m making spaghetti. period.

Christian swears that I’m a push-over with this kid. But by the end of the day I am so exhausted by him, and tired of the chaos that I cave in. I know I should stand my ground a little bit more, but he is just so… so… Landen. I am just hoping 3 year old Landen isn’t as exhausting, or so full of tantrums, as 2 year old Landen.

KNIGHTDALE WARD PARTY

Amongst the craziness at home… we always have other things to plan. Christian is currently the 2nd Councilor in the Elders Quorum and it was his responsibility to put together a gathering. Well, you know Christian and his BBQ. He grilled up 5 pork shoulders, I made 3 different sauces, and we were in business. It took the bulk of a day to get it all ready but it turned out great! He brought Corn Hole, Croquet, Bubbles (for the kids), side walk chalk, etc. The kids all had a blast! And it was nice to sit around outside with good friends and enjoy the weather. It was perfect and he did such a GREAT job!

MIA’S 5TH BIRTHDAY

Mia turned 5 today!! Holy Cow where did the time go? I remember bringing that sweet little baby home just yesterday. She really is such a fun little girl… full of spunk and personality… I’m not quite sure where she gets it from. She brings such a funny sense of humor to our family, she remembers EVERYTHING you tell her… good or bad. There are SO many things about Mia that I just adore. She’s stubborn like her Mommy, athletic like her Daddy, and can give us a run for our money. MIA – We love you so much! Each day you grow more and more beautiful. You’ve becoming more independent and self confident each day. We are so blessed to have you as a part of our family and are glad that our Heavenly Father gave you to us as our daughter.

This year, since it was a BIG birthday (5 yrs old, 8 yrs. old, 12… etc those are considered BIG years in our house) I felt like I should do something out of the norm for her. We’re really not big party throwers. birthday’s are usually quietly spent at home with the family and usually Grandma and Grandpa Alo come over. Cake, ice cream, the usual… but this year was special. And we wanted to show Mia how much she is loved not only by us, but by her friends. And since we are currently trying to get our house ready to sell, a party at the house didn’t seem practical. So we took our party elsewhere and had it at the Rolesville Park. I have to admit… I was SOOO stressed about this party. The week I planned it the weather was supposed to beautiful. High 60’s without a cloud in the sky. Of course, as nature would have it, the forecast changed and it rained all night long and was cloudy all morning. So I STALKED the weather and it kept saying that the clouds would break around 1pm. Well, her party was from 1-3pm and all morning long I waited for those clouds to break. And in the meantime I decided to make a Giant Cookie for her party. A few of the reviews said their cookie spilled over the sides of the pizza pan. Well, as luck would have it, so did mine. Not only did it spill over, but it caught my oven on fire. SERIOUSLY?! It was crazy. I called my mom ASAP (who needs a fire department) and freaked. I already had the oven closed (I had taken the cookie out) and was just sitting there watching the flames dance around my oven. Not cool. Finally they went out. My house was filled with smoke, so we opened up the windows and kept them open for the rest of the day. This cookie turned out to be more dreadful then I anticipated. When we finally were ready to go, I put the cookie on the front passenger seat next to me. Um…. it slid all over the place and almost bit the dust during a turn. I may never make one of these things again. It was, however, delicious and turned out cute.

We headed over to pick Kalea up at school and then made our way to the park. We got there barely in time to set up before people arrived. Once that was finished I whipped out some towels and pretty much dried the ENTIRE park. I didn’t want all these little behinds getting wet. The party was a lot of fun for the kids. They played and ran like crazy people and the clouds did break at 1pm AND it warmed up quite a bit. SUCCESS!!

**I went around and took a few pictures of the kids playing. They had no plan on standing still for me or saying “cheese” for that matter.**

**I think I’m taking too long…**

**Presents Time!! One thing you will learn about Mia is that she is THE BEST present opener. She makes you feel like she has waited her whole life just for this one gift. She was so excited about each and everyone that she received from her friends. It was cracking me up. “THIS IS MY FAVORITE PRESENT EVER!!!”**

**Landen swiped this out of Mia’s bag and kept screaming for “ice cream”! He wanted it so bad. I was able to hold him off and hide it from him after a little while.**

BIG NEWS!!!

We have 2 fun things to share… most of you already know the news but I’ll put it into my own words anyways…

With BIG NEWS comes a BIG story… So, last Sunday I was at my whit's end. Let me back up, a few weeks before that I was talking with my good friend Erin about how “unstressed” I was about all of the changes going on. We were in the middle of finding out if Christian was getting into Med-School, having our 4th child, getting out house ready to sell, all of this on top of our usual routines plus callings, homework, you name it. So I was really holding it all together well. Until last Sunday, I thought I was going to cry at the drop of the hat. Every time those feelings would surface I’d push them back because I KNEW that if I shed one tear, the dam would burst! Sunday came and went. Monday was a little better. Busy… but I was able to spend some time with 2 really good friends and vent which always makes me feel better. The day starts to come to an end, we’re just finishing up dinner when the phone rings. Well, the kids are loud and noisy so Christian takes his call outside. I figure it’s for church. However, when he comes back inside he has the most elated look on his face. Like someone had just told him the FUNNIEST joke he’d ever heard. And then I hear the words, “I just got into Medical School.” I was a little baffled and said, “Really???”. And then…. THAT DAM BURST. I cried and boy, I needed to cry. It was a combination of the random thought of “I’m never going to see my husband again”, hormones (we’ll blame it on that), and all of the reality of the changes and sacrifices that are ready to be made. At the same time I felt what a huge blessing this was from our Heavenly Father. As soon as I got a good cry out I felt such a calm peaceful feeling come over me. A year ago, when Christian first applied to Medical School he got on the waiting list. And it was a waiting game, let me tell you, but we weren’t ready. We made some serious changes over the past year and it was like I was being comforted to know that those changes were not in vain. That my Heavenly Father listened and knew US and where we should be.  It’s super exciting, and super exhausting, and super over-whelming all at the same time. We have been busting our butts getting this house in good shape to sell, I’m full on pregnant now days where my stamina isn’t where it used to be. And I pushed it a little too hard this week and felt some strain from that. It’s a reminder that I really do need to try and take it easy. The kids know that Christian is going to “Dr. School” and have been very positive and supportive. I think they were hoping to move into a larger house, but they know that a smaller one will probably be more likely. Landen, of course, has no clue what’s going on.

On to the next BIG NEWS… and equally exciting. And actually, we found this our first so I’m just going a little backwards. We had been talking over whether or not to find out if this baby is going to be a boy or a girl. Well Christian thought it’d be fun to make it a surprise. Not so much fun for me. I needed a solid. Something I could grasp onto with all the craziness going on. So, I won. As tradition would have it we all went to my Ultrasound appointment. We kept Kalea out of school and headed on over. On a side note, we had all guessed we were having another boy. It felt right and we all agreed Landen needed a little brother to play with. When we arrived the kids played for a few minutes while we waited. Once we made our way back Landen was a tad bit confused. And then as soon as I hopped onto the table Landen was ticked. He kept yelling “NO MOMMY! NO!” He didn’t like me being up there one bit. He calmed after a few minutes and we began exploring with our technician. Everything was PERFECT and couldn’t have asked for a better looking baby. Another side note, I felt the baby kicking and moving ALL MORNING LONG so I just KNEW that the baby would be sound asleep when we went to find out the gender, which is never good. So we poked and prodded my belly until we got our sleeping giant to awaken. Finally those little legs moved and what did we find? ANOTHER GIRL!! Can you believe it? We were all DEAD WRONG! In shock, each and every one of us, Christian says “Well buddy, It’s just me and you.” I wasn’t prepared to hear that it was a girl. I was SO SURE!! Once the initial shock went away, i found myself calling her “she”. And I’m lucky that I have saved ALL of the girl’s clothes. The season’s will be a little bit off, but It’s nice to know that we will have what we need. Wow, 3 girls… 1 boy. Christian’s next comment? “Now we HAVE to have more kids. Landen can’t be the only boy.” Oh boy…. I mean girl. (too cheesy?)