SASSY PANTS

NO, I’m not talking about my kids, or even Christian. I’m speaking of myself and a situation that happened a few months back. And incase any of you remember me as a child/teenager… I had quite a mouth and back sassed people on the regular.

Ok, so I went to Kalea’s school on Friday where I attended an awards assembly for the Kindergarteners. I arrived, took my seat in the benches, and saw an older lady that I recognized from a previous encounter. FLASHBACK TIME: Back when I was still working at White Dahlia, Christian would have to do these late audits with the FDA so I would drop the kids off at Alice and Cletus’ house. This particular day Mia fell asleep in the car and Landen was wide awake. So naturally I put Mia in the stroller (my single crappy stroller) and held Landen while I managed to somehow push them into the building and into the office. Well, I was there at 3:30pm to pick Kalea up early… but guess what… they don’t let you check your children out any later then 3:15. So they gave me a car pass (cause naturally I had forgotten it.) By this time Mia had just woken up grumpy, and we had to haul ourselves back to the car and get in the carpool lane. Well any of you who do carpool, you know that you have to arrive like 30 minutes early or you’ll be in line FOREVER. So being a little irritated that I couldn’t check out my own child at the office, I get back in my car.. . now running late to drop off the kids and get to work on time. So what does any reasonably sane/impatient person do? She cuts in line and picks up my kid with 5 minutes instead of 30 minutes later. Well, except for the fact that somehow they lost my kid and when they finally found her, I was a little more then impatient. Here’s where it gets good… So this lady comes out. And asks me ever-so-sternly…”Are you the parent that cut in line?” So I answered yes and she proceeded to rip into me about how it isn’t fair. So what did sweet little Kristy do? Kristy lost it and told her how ridiculous I thought it was that I couldn’t pick up my own child from the office when I had an infant and a sleeping child and instead was told to get back in line. Then I proceeded to tell her that I didn’t have time for this garbage and that I had to be to work and drop the kids off at the sitter’s house and that she was making me even later then before. Needless to say I was a little steamed and she told me to “drive safely.” Like I’m one of those erratic mothers who is going to drive me and my kids off a cliff or something (I admit, I did probably look that way though.) ….

Ok, so back to the present. So I’m sitting there and this Lady that I so vividly remember is talking into the mic and I lean over to the other parent sitting next to me. I ask her quietly, “Who is that lady speaking right now?” And she answers me… “That’s the Principal.” UGGGGHHHH…. seriously?! I fussed out the principal of my 5 year olds elementary school? Granted, she kind of deserved it and so did the rest of the office staff (if you want my opinion) but not exactly the way I want my kid to be known at school… the one with the crazy mom who cuts in the carpool lane. To make the story that much sweeter, the next day they had huge orange barrels (not cones, barrels) and a chain where I had taken my “short cut” so that the next person wouldn’t be tempted. MOTHER OF THE YEAR, RIGHT HERE FOLKS.